After two pretty f*cked years of trying to conceive, I can’t believe I finally get to write this: I’m pregnant.

Welcome to the Pregnancy Diaries!  A monthly behind-the-scenes update on all the messy, magical, hilarious and identity-shaking parts of this wild ride into motherhood. If you’re pregnant, trying to be, or just love an honest story, you’re in the right place.

This is episode one. I’ve just wrapped up the first trimester and wow… what a ride.

My Body is a Trash Can

If I had to sum up trimester one in a sentence: my body has been a trash can.

Turns out I’m currently made up of 10% baby and 90% fries.

And listen, I’m usually that girl who cycles, runs, lifts, meal preps and eats her chicken-broccoli-pumpkin without complaint. Health is one of my highest values. I read labels, I rarely eat take-out, I’ve always been the “crunchy mum” type before I even knew what that was.

But apparently this baby didn’t get the memo. All it wanted was carbs, salt and trash.

The first few weeks I could survive on crackers and tubs of hummus the size of my head. Then came fries. Daily. Sometimes twice. And the day my friend Courtney convinced me to try a Hungry Jack’s Whopper (which I hadn’t had since I was 13 with my Pop after church) well, that was the day my temple officially turned into a fast-food shrine.

The Boob Saga

Here’s the thing: I’m not a boob girl. I don’t own bras. I live in gym crops. And overnight, thanks to massive progesterone injections, I suddenly had boobs so swollen and sore that even my husband did double takes.

They were heavy, painful and completely impractical. I couldn’t sleep on my side, I couldn’t run (not that I was allowed to anyway) and I kept asking myself, how do women with big boobs live like this?

Paul was thrilled of course. Me, not so much.

Exhaustion, Rage and Red Rooster

Let’s talk energy. Or should I say, the complete lack of it.

I was so exhausted there were days I wanted to cry at the thought of walking my dog. My body wanted to be horizontal, preferably with fries in hand.

Then came the rage. When I came off progesterone around week 12, the withdrawals hit hard. I usually consider myself patient, but suddenly I had the shortest fuse imaginable. Combine that with emotional crying fits (like sobbing uncontrollably through an episode of Building the Band while smashing Red Rooster) and you’ve got a pretty good snapshot of trimester one.

The First Scans

The seven-week scan was our first real “holy sh*t” moment. Seeing that tiny heartbeat flickering on the screen was surreal. We held our breath until the sonographer said everything looked perfect.

By the 12-week scan, our little bean had turned into a bouncing, stretching, yawning baby. At one point it even covered its privates as if to say, “not today, paparazzi.” We laughed so hard. It already felt cheeky, like a little boy, though apparently the “ball sacks” we thought we saw were actually just umbilical cord. Who knows.

Identity Shifts and Ego Deaths

This has been the hardest part for me.

So many things I love about myself, my energy, my fitness, my creativity, intimacy with my husband, were stripped away in one doctor’s appointment. “No orgasms, no penetration, no running, no heavy lifting.” Basically: no fun.

I didn’t recognise my body. I didn’t feel sexy or confident. I lived in baggy clothes and felt frumpy. And that brought up old body image stuff I hadn’t faced in over a decade.

But somewhere between belly rubs, swollen boobs and all the fries, I started to soften into it. Pregnancy is a wild ego death. It strips you and reshapes you at the same time.

Baby Brain is Real

I used to think baby brain was a myth. Until I found my car keys in the cutlery drawer. Enough said.

Lessons From the First Trimester

Looking back, here’s what stands out:

• Food matters. Trash food made me feel like trash. As soon as I could stomach protein and veggies again, my energy, face bloat and personality came back.
• Movement matters. Even gentle walking, swimming and light weights made me feel more like myself.
• Identity shifts are normal. Feeling uncomfortable in your body, questioning who you are, crying over fries — it’s all part of it.
• Gratitude carries you. After two years of IVF and heartbreak, even the hardest days feel easier when I remember how badly I wanted this.

Business and Baby

A lot of people have asked how I’m going to run my business while pregnant. The truth is — I don’t fully know yet.

I’ll definitely keep my podcast going. Some clients will take a break, some will continue. The Mind School will pause next year because running a six-day certification with a breastfeeding baby doesn’t sound realistic. This November will be the last round for a while — and it’s going to be epic.

Beyond that, I’m open to magic. Maybe I’ll bring parenting into my brand. Maybe I won’t. What I do know is that I’m so grateful for the business I’ve built, because it gives me the freedom to choose.

What’s Next

Next month I’ll be halfway through trimester two and we’ll know the gender (yes, I’m convinced it’s a boy, but who knows).

This series will continue once a month, with more stories, more lessons and more unfiltered truth.

If you’re on your own pregnancy journey, or if you’ve been there before, I hope this makes you feel less alone in the messy, magical middle.

Big love,

Breanna x