If you’ve ever tried to get your partner into “personal development,” you know the face.

That oh god, here we go again face.

It’s the same one my brother Trav gave me when I first started talking about energy, mindset, and manifestation. Fast forward a few years, and now he’s quoting Tony Robbins, doing breathwork, and dropping wisdom bombs about emotional intelligence.

In this week’s episode of The Mind School Podcast, I sat down with Trav — who, by the way, still calls me “ratchet” for soaking dishes overnight — to unpack the male perspective on personal growth, relationships, and why so many women struggle to get their partners on board.

From “Cringe” to Conversion: A Bloke’s First Step into Personal Growth

When I asked Trav how he first got into personal development, I assumed it started when we went to Tony Robbins together. Turns out, he’d been quietly stalking YouTube before that.

He admitted he thought it was all a bit rah-rah at first. But what changed him wasn’t my preaching. It was the results he saw in me.

“You didn’t tell me to do it. I just saw you change. You were happier. Calmer. The whole vibe was different. That’s what made me want to know more.”

That right there is the secret.

You don’t convince anyone with words. You let your energy and results do the talking.

Money, Mindset, and Being Called a “Greedy Mole”

There was a phase in my journey where I completely rewired my beliefs about money. I went from “money is gross” to “money is neutral — it’s what you do with it that matters.”

Trav hated it.

“I thought you’d turned into a greedy mole,” he laughed.

But over time, he saw the difference between greed and abundance.

And that’s the part we don’t talk about enough — how uncomfortable it can be for the people around us when we start growing.

Growth shines a light.

Sometimes, people aren’t ready for what it shows.

What Tony Robbins Taught Two Siblings Who Barely Survived Their Teenage Years

We both walked into Unleash the Power Within half skeptical, half curious — and left completely changed.

For Trav, the biggest lesson was learning that you can choose your state.

He said, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade — but also maybe go do your priming first.”

That one concept — that emotion, focus, and physiology create your state — was a turning point.

It’s not woo. It’s neuroscience.

And when you realise you can shift your emotional state at will, your whole world changes.

The Girlboss World, Through a Miner’s Eyes

Trav works on the mines. He’s not exactly sitting in cacao ceremonies or journaling under the moon.

But he’s seen what happens when men resist this work.

And his advice to women who are frustrated that their partners won’t “get it”?

“Don’t force it. Speak their language. Science over ‘manifest baby.’ And let your results speak for themselves.”

Simple. True. Brutal.

Dating in Your 30s: Freedom, Frustration, and Tinder Algorithms

Trav also gave the most honest take on dating I’ve heard in a while.

He loves his freedom. He also hates that meeting someone “organically” feels nearly impossible.

Apps feel like interviews. Everyone’s replaceable.

And he’s convinced Tinder is rigged until you pay.

But what I loved most was when he said,

“I’m not looking for perfect. I’m looking for kind.”

Maybe that’s it.

Maybe amidst all the noise, we’re just craving kindness and real connection.

Why EQ Should Be Taught in Schools (According to Two Ex-Teachers)

At the end of our chat, we got fired up about the education system.

Trav taught Year 1s. I taught high school.

And we both left the system heartbroken by how early kids lose their spark.

“There was this one little boy,” Trav said. “He was bright, curious, full of energy. And every day I had to tell him to sit down, be quiet, stop moving. It crushed me.”

Kids don’t need more algebra.

They need self-awareness, emotional regulation, and tools to handle life when it gets hard.

If we taught that in schools, we’d have fewer adults who feel lost, disconnected, and lonely.

The Realest Takeaway

Personal growth isn’t a gendered thing.

It’s not “girlboss” or “woo-woo.”

It’s self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and having the tools to navigate life without falling apart.

And sometimes, the best way to inspire the people you love isn’t by talking about it —

It’s by being it.

🎧 Listen to the full episode:

If you love it, send it to your partner, your brother, or the guy who thinks Tony Robbins is a cult leader.

You might just change his mind.