Once upon a time, I thought the dream was freedom. Long, slow mornings. Open space in my calendar. Nowhere to be. Nothing to do.

I imagined waking up with no alarm, stretching lazily as the sun poured through my window. Drinking coffee at a leisurely pace, taking a midday walk, and embracing a life of ease. I thought the ultimate goal was space—to be free from obligations, commitments, and responsibility.

And then, I got a taste of it… and honestly? It kinda sucked.

From Law Firm to Classroom: Searching for Meaning

I used to sit at my desk in the law firm, watching the clock like it was my personal countdown to escape. Freedom, I thought. That’s what I need. I convinced myself that if I could just get out, I’d finally be happy.

I pictured quitting and waking up to a life that felt expansive and open. No one dictating my time. No meetings that could have been emails. No bosses, no deadlines, no obligations.

Then I left law and stepped into a classroom. Surely, shaping young minds would be fulfilling? It had to be better than mindless paperwork and soul-sucking office politics. And it was, to a degree. But then came the meetings. The pointless, drawn-out discussions that drained the life out of my day. The endless admin. The red tape that kept me from actually making an impact.

I still wasn’t free. And worse, I felt just as disconnected.

The Reality of an Empty Calendar

So, I finally got it. I built my own business, created my own schedule, and designed a life where I had full control over my time.

I woke up to… nothing. No deadlines. No commitments. No one waiting for me to show up. I had dreamed of blank space on my calendar, and now that I had it, all I felt was a gnawing sense of emptiness.

I was restless. Aimless. Unfulfilled.

Turns out, I never wanted freedom.

What I Really Wanted: Purpose and Meaning.

I wanted to be deeply invested in my work. I wanted to be engaged. I wanted to wake up with a sense of purpose, knowing that what I did mattered.

Fast forward to now. I’m in Japan. On a snowboarding trip with seven mates. And guess what? I choose to wake up at 5am and do work before I hit the slopes. Not because I have to. Not because someone is making me. But because I genuinely want to.

Because this work? It feeds me. It gives me energy. It excites me.

Why Being “Busy” is a Good Thing

I used to think “busy” meant exhausted. Overworked. Stressed. But I’ve learned that busy, when it’s aligned with passion and purpose, feels completely different. It’s not suffocating. It’s exhilarating. It’s fulfilling.

I love that my brain gets fired up at ridiculous hours of the morning because I care so much about what I do. I don’t resent being “busy,” prefer it. Because busy doesn’t mean burnt out. Busy doesn’t mean trapped.

Busy, when it’s aligned with meaning, is freedom.

The Truth About Freedom vs. Meaning

So, no, I didn’t want freedom. I wanted work that meant something. I wanted to feel challenged. I wanted to create, to contribute, to matter.

And now, I have it.

And I wouldn’t trade it for all the slow mornings in the world.