We are told the formula from a young age.

Find the partner. Get the house. Have the kids. Build the career.

Tick, tick, tick, tick.

And yet… what happens when you get there and realise you feel nothing like you thought you would?

That’s exactly what happened to Rain. From the outside, she had it all. From the inside, her heart was quietly breaking — and eventually, it started to shout.

This is her story of identity, heartbreak, reinvention, and the radical act of getting to know yourself… for real.

The Moment Everything Changed

Rain was a high-achiever. The kind of woman who wanted to be the best at everything.

Best wife. Best mother. Best athlete. Best cook.

Then one morning, she rolled over in bed, her husband said something, and she thought…

“He doesn’t know who I am.”

The truth? She didn’t really know who she was either. She had been performing roles for so long that they became her identity. And they looked good from the outside. But inside? She felt completely lost.

The universe had been whispering to her for a while… and when she didn’t listen, it yelled. Rain developed a heart condition called AF (atrial fibrillation). The night she ended up in hospital, she realised it was her body screaming for her to stop pushing uphill and start telling the truth.

Why Letting Go Feels Like Grief

We don’t often talk about it, but letting go of a life you thought would make you happy is a form of grief.

It’s not just about losing a person, job, or home — it’s about losing a dream. The identity. The purpose you built your life around.

Many women feel guilt or shame for not “being what they wanted to be.” But Rain believes the real healing starts when we allow ourselves to grieve the version of life we thought we wanted.

Staying For the Kids… or Leaving For Them

One of the biggest reasons women stay in unfulfilling marriages? The kids.

Rain gets it. She tried for years. But she also knew her children deserved to witness love, connection, joy, and inspiration. Staying in a relationship that had none of those things wasn’t the gift she wanted to give them.

Her advice?

Do the work without knowing the outcome.

Show up for yourself — and maybe that will save the relationship. Or maybe it will set you free. Either way, it’s the most powerful gift you can give your family.

From Influencer to Healer

Before stepping into her work as a coach and Reiki practitioner, Rain had built an Instagram following as a finance broker, home builder, and restaurant owner. She even did influencing for a while.

The money. The freebies. The events.

It all fed her ego, but it didn’t feed her soul.

Stepping away from that world to step into something deeper was terrifying.

What if no one liked her in this new light?

What if people judged her?

But a six-day retreat with plant medicine, breathwork, and total disconnection from the outside world cracked her open. When she came home, she told her followers exactly what she was doing and why. And yes, people unfollowed. But those who stayed were the people she wanted in her world.

The Permission Slip You’ve Been Waiting For

Rain says it best:

You’re not stuck. You’re just waiting for a permission slip you don’t need.

Everything in your life is a choice — even the things you’ve convinced yourself you “have” to do.

The house. The school. The suburb. The job.

You can choose differently. And when you start to see your life through that lens, the possibilities multiply.

Doing the Work Every Day

For Rain, “doing the work” isn’t just about meditating or journaling (although she does both). It’s about cleaning her energy daily.

When she’s triggered, she asks herself:

What part of me still cares about this opinion?

What am I making this mean about me?

It’s not about blaming herself, it’s about owning the emotional reaction so it doesn’t sit in her body for weeks, months, or years.

The Truth About Change

It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. And it often requires you to let go of something that once made you feel safe.

But the moment you stop existing and start living? That’s the moment life begins to expand in ways you can’t imagine.

As Rain’s story shows, sometimes the breakdown is the breakthrough. Sometimes the life you thought would make you happy is the one you have to release in order to step into something even better.

If you’re ready to hear this conversation in full and give yourself that permission slip listen to the full episode here:

Because your life is too important to spend it ticking boxes that don’t light you up.