The personal development world loves a good outgrowing story.

Outgrowing friends.
Outgrowing relationships.
Outgrowing careers.

And look, I get it. Growth is beautiful. Evolution is important. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.

But here’s what no one seems to talk about:
What it takes to stay.
What it takes to build.
What it takes to grow together.

The Easy Out vs. The Hard Stay

Here’s the thing about “outgrowing” relationships: it can be a convenient way of avoiding the tough stuff.

Because sticking around when things get gnarly isn’t as sexy as “outgrowing” someone.

• Sticking around means having hard conversations.
• Sticking around means sitting in discomfort.
• Sticking around means showing up, again and again, even when it’s messy.

Sometimes, people use “outgrowing” as a way to dodge the work that relationships require. And while yes, sometimes moving on is the right choice, it’s worth asking yourself:

Am I truly outgrowing this relationship? Or am I leaving because it’s hard?

My Friendsmas Reflection

Last week, my besties and I had our annual Friendsmas, and as I drove home the next day feeling a liiiiitle bit tired from the daiquiris, I thought:

“Faaaaar out, we’ve been through some seasons.”

And I mean seasons.

• The gnarly, WTF-are-we-doing seasons.
• The heartbreaking, ugly-cry seasons.
• The HARD seasons.

But you know what? We’re still here.

15+ years later, we’ve learned to communicate, support, and love each other through every messy, ever-changing chapter of life. And that? That’s one of my greatest sources of pride.

The Missing Piece in Most Relationships

This is why I’m always ranting about emotional intelligence.

Because here’s the truth: Quality relationships are born out of quality communication.

It’s not about having everything figured out. It’s about having the tools to navigate the mess:

• The courage to say, “Hey, this hurt me.”
• The patience to hear, “I’m sorry.
• The resilience to say, “Let’s figure this out together.”

But we’re not taught this stuff, are we?

Instead, most of us fumble through relationships, hoping for the best but falling apart when things get tough.

And that’s where the “outgrowing” narrative becomes dangerous. Because while it’s true that some relationships aren’t meant to last, others fall apart simply because we don’t know how to make them work.

Growing Together > Growing Apart

Having people to share milestones, dreams, and heartaches with is one of life’s greatest blessings. But those kinds of relationships don’t just happen.

They’re built.
They’re nurtured.
They’re fought for.

Staying doesn’t mean settling. It means choosing to grow together instead of apart.

And let me tell you, are the relationships worth fighting for? They’re the ones that make life meaningful.

Ask Yourself This

Before you decide to “outgrow” someone, ask yourself:

• Have I communicated how I feel?
• Have I been honest about my needs?
• Have I given them the chance to grow with me?

Because sometimes, the problem isn’t that you’re outgrowing someone. The problem is that you’re leaving before the real growth can happen.

Growing apart is easy. Growing together takes work.

But if you’re willing to do the work, the reward is a life filled with deep, meaningful connections. And trust me, that’s a life worth living.

So, are you outgrowing relationships?
Or are you just leaving before it gets hard?

The answer might just change everything.